I got inspired by Mike Pendlebury to post a tour of our workout room. It's always been a fun space, and has evolved over the years to suit different things that we're doing. The video is absent the music, the loft ping pong, and silliness of what we call "the wacky workout" -- but the video serves as a general overview.
Lately I go back-and-forth between watching various YouTube videos tagged things like "MS workout" and "MS exercise" -- and avoiding the videos all together. To be perfectly frank, which is hard when it comes to this topic, it's hard to see how physically debilitating this disease can be. Simply put, the many realities of MS are hard for me to watch and read about -- and yet, I want to know everything about this crazy disease.
Things have been hard for me at times, but then I watch a video of someone who's trying to learn to walk again, or trying to think straight, or describing the agony of daily life ... and I come to feel that
1) my experience with MS is somehow lightweight or fortunate (there's some guilt there)
2) that bad things are almost certainly coming (there's some fear there)
So it's unfortunate, I think, that negative and dreadful thinking can emanate (for me) from so many inspirational videos. Greg Kirkpatrick, for instance, has posted some amazingly inspirational videos about his struggle with MS. Watching him go through his challenges and triumphs, however, I start to wonder (and worse, worry) about what may be in store for me in the future? I want to stay positive. I must stay positive. And yet I worry.
So then I exercise. Moving my body, hanging, swinging, jumping, running, skipping rope -- it brings me back to the momentary experience of being. And everything is somewhat loosely better. At least for a while.