Book (TM) Promises to Increase Enjoyment and Slow Down Reading Time

With the introduction of Spritz, the new reading app geared toward speeding up reading time via a ramped-up cavalcade of methamphetaminic language,

I'm reminded of Book (TM), the once common technology that is particularly good for such things as slow reading, nap-based reading, pleasurable meandering through words, rereading, and even letting one's eyes drift about the page. Of course, Spritzers have outlawed the Book, so we'll have to just remember those good old days of print.