For the non-local readers (hi Mom!), the way this works is that we all log onto an "ethics-training" website for about twenty minutes each year, study a series of slides, and take a quiz. I could tell you my score on the quiz, but would that be ethical? ;)
While I wish the following slide was accompanied by the suggestion that poor PhotoShopping is unethical, item number two indicates that it is unethical for university employees to get out the vote while on the clock and/or via state communication tools. Man, I would think getting people to the polls would be considered service.
This next slide explains how we are required to keep detailed records of hours worked—down to the fifteen-minute increment. Of course, all faculty in English do this religiously. In fact, I just had a new stack of graph paper delivered to my office this morning.
And what happens if you violate one of these rules? Well, it appears one is forced to sit very stiffly in a glassed-in office while looking straight ahead.
Now, I'm know I'm joking about this, but it's not because I take ethics and workplace ethics lightly.
In fact, I would love it if our universities were ethical in the ways they pay female faculty in comparison to us guys, and I'd like to see more commitments to things like ethical class sizes and ethical assessment models. Ethics trainings like this one make light of ethics by equating ethics with a-theoretical policies. But while policies can be informed by ethics, the two are not always equivalent.